MEATHEADS
A downloadable adventure game
Scrawny roleplaying games just not cutting it for you? Had enough of pipsqueak rogues and egghead wizards? Want to be strong enough to bend the rules? Well now you can with the mighty Meatheads tabletop role-playing game!
Linked by Chainmail, tempered by OD&D and hammered with inspiration from Whitehack, Wolves Upon the Coast, and Troika! Meatheads is a dungeon crawler through and through - all buff, no fluff.
Fans of Conan the Barbarian, Masters of the Universe, Hercules, Bodybuilding and Wrestling will feel right at home.
With easy to read stats that can be converted for use in other old-school adjacent tabletop role-playing games, Meatheads can adventure into nearly any compatible old school adventure with a little hacking. Meatheads beats any system!
The new and improved Hypertrophy Edition features the 1.5 ruleset!
- New Character Creation and How to Play procedures.
- Elegant rules for Downtime.
- Expanded guidelines for Referees.
- Full loadout of Techniques and Spells to learn.
- Spanking new layout and artwork.
- B/W and printer friendly.
Cutting the crap that didn't make the cut, this updated version streamlines and simplifies the already lean system. This is the closest ruleset to be featured in the up coming Kickstarter funded megadungeon, Sea Hill Tomb.
Feel free to Join the Meatheads Discord, and talk gains with other Meatheads! We're friends now!
Check out the Meatheads Collection!
A plaintext version of the system is available HERE!
Happening April 1st to May 15th!
The very exciting Meatheads Jam 2.0!
Meatheads by Mark Conway is marked with CC0 1.0 Universal 
Meatheads is created by:
- Writing & Graphic Design by Mark Conway!
- Edited & Developed by Matt K!
- Graphic Design & Development by Eric Hill!
Appendix M: Conan the Barbarian, Red Sonja, Beastmaster, The Barbarians, Pumping Iron, Predator, Commando, Rocky, Ator the Fighting Eagle, The Sword and the Sorcerer, Conquest, Hercules, Beowulf, The Iliad, John Henry, Action Movie Stars (Arnold Schawrzenegger, Carl Weathers, Brigitte Nielsen, Sylvester Stallone, Linda Hamilton, Jean Claude Van Damme, Dolph Lundgren, etc), Body builders (Ronnie Coleman, Lisa Lyon, Iris Kyle, Eugen Sandow, etc), Action Boyz Podcast, The Dumbbells Podcast, The Doughboys Podcast.
Download
Click download now to get access to the following files:
Development log
- One last update!14 hours ago
- Slight Update!3 days ago
- Hypertrophy Edition Update7 days ago
- New Meatheads Hypertrophy Edition Now Available!9 days ago
- Meatheads Launched on Kickstarter!Feb 15, 2024
- Fillable PDF Meat Sheet! Plus Much Much More...Jan 16, 2024
Comments
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So, considering the Strength of a Meathead starts at 1d3 and the table only goes up to 6, I must assume this statement of Strength for Toadies is wrong, especially as elsewhere (group effort) they are listed as counting as 1/2 a point of Strength...
Especially given this later paragraph on the same page...
ah, leftover from the old system, fixing now, thanks for pointing out! for all purposes treat toadies as having 1/2 strength :)
Yeah, I'm hopping on with this edition, so I have no clue how it used to work. 😅
Great work!
thanks!!
Can someone explain to me how THE DUNGEON DICE GAME is supposed to work? I can't quite get it from the explanation.
Imagine I roll 3d6, get 17, I would certainly knock (indicating that I think I'm closest to 18), but I wouldn't want the game to go on. Does the game have to go on if nobody calls me on it but instead wants to raise?
What if nobody knocks at all, does it just go directly to raising?
Knocking in general seems risky, somebody with a strong set of dice will always call you, and if they don't have a strong set yet they will raise you and you will probably go over 18.
Hey There! Good question, written as of now the rules are a bit janky, having had more time to test the game out I am currently rewriting the steps for better understanding. Thanks for your interest! Basically the game is like blackjack, but needs more fine tuning clearly.
This is incredible. There’s no better word. This is raw, condensed power, ready for play. I have just one question. What do you recommend for a former wizard that is trying to reform themselves?
Thank you kindly! I have one piece of advice: renounce the dark arts and lift my friend.
This is fantastic. Amidst a sea of OD&D-inspired quasi-retroclones, hacks, revisions, reinterpretations, reimaginings, reskinnings, and what have you, Meatheads stands out.
It's well-written, imaginative, and has an air of whimsy. Looking forward to playing this.
What do I even say??
Some things are too great to be shared with this world.
Thanks for doing it anyways!
One of thee freshest OD&D/Chainmail hacks I've seen in ages. Can we get a single pages version of the ashcan version for home booklet printing though?
I will whip Eric into shape!
I LOVE MEATHEADS
FUCK WIZARDS
fuck wizards
Yes! Looking forward to getting stuck into this.
Save some talent for the rest of us, man. This absolutely blew me out of the park. This is so pure.
I love it. I'm gonna go live my best Meathead life, now.
you're too kind big man 🙏